Why Do People Get Divorced?
It is truly saddening when what used to be a happily ever after turns into a complete nightmare. A marriage that suddenly takes a downturn can greatly affect not just the couple but worse, even the children can also suffer the consequences.
Millions of reasons can be attributed to divorce and in fact, it is almost impossible to determine one specific reason why marriages fall apart. But based on the studies and research conducted by the experts, the reasons why couples go separate ways greatly vary.
These reasons can come from various aspects and angles of the human life. One page will not be enough to list down all the reasons but just so you can have an idea, here are the top ten reasons for divorce according to what studies and statistics have revealed.
Reason No. 1 – Infidelity
If there is one thing that can be difficult to forgive in a relationship, much less a marriage, that would be having an affair. Regaining trust is far from being easy, and once this happens, the space in bed can become as wide as an ocean. But based on some studies, data showed that women are more forgiving compared to men.
A violation of trust in this regards can be absolutely devastating to the person it happens to. The ability to trust again can take a very long time if ever.
Many couples try to make it work after an affair when children are involved. In this case, the two adults in the relationship must put the needs of the children ahead of their own. This is very difficult in a modern society where the media is constantly telling us to be self-focused and self-gratifying.
Reason No. 2 – Financial Problems
The present state of economy can greatly impact the lives of married individuals. This can also produce tons of pressure, enough that marriages can break in just a single snap. This is among the saddest reasons for divorce, but it really happens, more often than the others in fact.
Financial pressures can have a negative affect on marriage in more ways than one. Lack of money or means can have an affect on the confidence and or the identity of one of the partners in a marriage. It can threaten feeling of safety and security to those who are dependants.
For the financial providers, having financial problems can cause many stress related health problems such as: high blood pressure, depression & anxiety, and insomnia. Money issues can certainly be a breaking point for some marriages.
Reason No. 3 – Lack of Communication
Communication lines do not just break down overnight. It might take years, particularly when hurtful remarks have been exchanged by both parties. More often than not, the wounding comments are set aside but still, they pile up through the years, waiting to go over the brink.
Are you able to talk about things with your partner or do you save it up for later? Do you or your partner like to keep score in order to have material in a verbal showdown?
Negative communication can be just as damaging to a marriage as much as lack of communication. Lack of communication can be seen as indifference and that is just as devastating as anger and negativity.
Reason No. 4 – Addiction
Also among the common marital issues in North America, addiction is not only about street drugs but it can also encompass tobacco, alcohol, as well as prescription medication.
Addictions can tear a marriage or a family apart. Other forms of addiction can be an addiction to pornography. Addictions to internet porn can leave the person with the addiction disconnected to their spouse and the spouse is left feeling neglected and unloved.
Work can also be an addiction as one person is trying to succeed at all costs. Being a Workaholic can have devastating affects on a relationship especially if it isn’t known before marriage.
Reason No. 5 – Abuse
It is not just about the physical type of abuse because this can also take various forms, such as intimidation, belittling, psychological, and emotional abuses.
Neglect is also a form of abuse. Feelings or being marginalized or not being of value to a marital partner can have devastating effects on a person’s self-esteem and self-worth.
Abuse can take many forms and most of the time, the one being abused is in denial of the situation. They may try to wait it out thinking that things will get better someday.
Many times it’s friends or family that are the first to notice changes in behavior of the person being abused. Men and women can both be abused in a marriage so this is not a gender specific issue.
Reason No. 6 – Sexual Incompatibility
A couple’s sexual relationship might also be among the sources of conflicts inside the bedroom. Here, either both or one of the partners feel sexually unfulfilled. According to experts, sexual tensions are more likely to happen if the partners have a big difference in age.
Reason No. 7 – Children
These issues can range from inability of bearing children to practices in rearing a child. Sad thing is, raising kids can become straining on marriages, as well as not having the ability to conceive a child.
Some people want to have kids and others don’t. Just because someone loves you doesn’t mean that they will change their mind on the issue of having children down the road. When someones says that it’s important for them to have kids, believe them.
You may think that love conquers all and that they’ll come around but nobody wants to be tricked or manipulated. It’s important to be clear on what you want so you don’t waste your time or someone else’s.
If you both are in agreement about having children, it’s wise to discuss how you’ll handle discipline and other major issues before they arise. Differences and disagreements in parenting styles can cause major problems in even the strongest of marriages.
Reason No. 8 – Religion, Ethnicity, and Culture
Couples that come from various religious, ethnic, and cultural backgrounds are said to have higher rates of divorce. Adjusting to the differences should be made or things will head downhill.
It’s possible for people of different religious and spiritual backgrounds to co-mingle as long as they agree to be tolerant of the differences.
It all comes down to what you can tolerate and for how long.
Reason No. 9-Lack Of Interest/Boredom
This particular ground for divorce usually take years before coming to the surface. You will surely not get bored a day after your marriage. There are experts who claim that it takes seven years before a human being eventually changes its mate – and this is referred to as the 7 year itch. Gradually and overtime, partners will get bored of the company of one another and divorce becomes the resort when they can no longer take it.
Reason No. 10-Unfulfilled Expectations
Usually, after getting married, couples set some goals. Both of them work hard in order to achieve these but there will come a time when crisis take toll on these plans. When plans of traveling to various countries or early retirement becomes unfulfilled, chances are one or both parties are going to end up disappointed, which will then lead to divorce.
These are some Reasons For Divorce I found. Now it’s your turn. Let us know if you identify any other reasons .